Friday, March 09, 2007

Johann Sebastian??

its been a really long time since i was last inspired to write with sarcastic wit.. seems like a stint at the shittybank have drained me of a lot of inspirations.. now that i have a lot of time on my hand to do things.. i still find it very difficult to pick it all up and start blabbering nonsense all over again.. so i did the right thing and picked up old jimmy boy's poetry collection again.. seems like every time i revisit those pages.. something different came out of it.. today was no different.. i realised randomness and chaos theory rules in his form.. there are no definite patterns and broad subject matter tat captures his heart and mind at the point of writing.. he just.. wrote..

so my latest craze is toys.. boys and their toys.. i dun think i will ever become a hardcore collector cos its too much effort for very superficial things.. having said that.. i read superman red son last nite and was so struck by the creative minds of those who pen the story and managed to squeeze in the different characters from superman's world into a totally different setting and existence..
i'm sure all of us.. at one point of time or another.. have pondered about "what ifs".. we're born into a different family.. in a different country.. did different things.. blah blah blah.. so here i am now pondering the what ifs.. i realised that the greatest regret i have in my life is quitting my first job so soon.. life would have been very different.. having said that.. i tot back about the way i was brought up and realised that staying salaried would never be an option.. but going forward with tat certain commitment and thrust escapes me.. i am just not so motivated to develop those abdominal muscles anymore.. i dunno why.. i sometimes wish things havent gone tat horribly wrong 24 moons ago.. but i've crash and burnt and yet to rise up from the ashes.. ala mr dokken.. i pray for the strength to pry myself away from tat heap..

a life of music is wat i always hoped for myself.. lack of talent meant that i will have to concentrate elsewhere in this sphere.. maybe setting up an instrument shop.. (a dime a dozen everywhere).. selling stuff related to music.. (loads of huge conglomerates thriving there and drowning out the small boys + internet piracy).. i would love to be involved creatively but (1) the options are few and (2) my talent is lacking.. wat to do? fall back into the cogwheel and become a part of the system..

"I won't be the one left behind
You can't be king of the hill
If you're slave to the grind"
- Skid Row (Pre Gilmore Girls Days), Slave to the Grind