Riders on the storm

stormy days are over i hope.. its been a rough ride over the past 3 weeks or so and i would like to think of that period as something that we all have to go through to learn.. the hard way no less.. about each other's patterns.. habits.. manners.. lifestyle.. tot process... attitudes.. etc etc.. so its good that at the end of the day.. we've seen enough of the ugly side of each other to still believe in the union and want to work things.. i've also learnt to be a better person and ultimately a better partner after these sessions of anguish and unhappiness... i think we've both found a state of equilibrium that had been lacking for me in the past.. its a matter of coming to terms with the fact tat we're both individuals in our own rights and imposing ideals upon each other is not the way to go.. and yet we've got to balance the fact tat we're in a relationship and is somewhat answerable to the other party with each and every one of our attitudes and behaviour...

i've also grown a lot over the past few months.. the partner has always been someone with a more matured outlook of life than me.. i've learnt a lot about being a 30-something from her and am glad that i've found someone who loves me enough to put up with my childish tantrums at times tat are totally unjustified.. i do realise at the end of the day tat nobody should put up with shit like this.. and yet here is this gal who is willing to put up with me.. i guess its true tat its all about give and take.. and mr darin did mention it succintly by saying "nobody else gives me a thrill.. with all your faults i love you still".. i tot i knew wat its all about.. i was so wrong.. but i tink i do comprehend it now.. i see where she's coming from and these words strike me in such a in-your-face manner tat the realisation of it comes like a breath of air previously totally out of my radar with its purity and untainted freshness.. she does accept me for the person that i am..

"Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can’t go on?
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.
We can work it out, We can work it out.
Think of what you’re saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it’s alright.
Think of what I’m saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.
We can work it out,We can work it out.

Life is very short, and there’s no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it’s a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There’s a chance that we may fall apart before too long.
We can work it out,We can work it out."

- The Beatles, We Can Work It Out

Full Nelson~!!

this post is not as painful as the freaking title would suggest.. actually referring to 2 blondie twins with flowing locks.. decked out in rocker gear but singing soft pop rock numbers.. one hit wonders.. or i should say one album wonderzzzz..

after the rain.. the storm.. the tsunamis that swept through my emotions and my soul.. i have been drained.. battle wearied.. well worn.. hope that all will translate to lessons learnt about being with the partner.. i really need to re-examine myself sometimes in a relationship and learn to let go of minor disturbances and irritants tat tick me off at times.. i need to be able to let it go at the moment and not let it consume me and unleash the freakish monster tat does a lot of damage to the strong bonds that had been built over time.. pin pointing fingers and apportioning blame is not the order of the day.. as human beings interacting within the institute of a relationship.. we need to address the issues and potential problems tat exist between 2 persons and deal with it..

in the heat of the moment.. we might say things that hurt terribly that can never be taken back.. we can never turn back the hands of the clock and reverse the damage.. tats just not the way life works.. and yet.. i make the same mistakes over the over again.. nobody's perfect i know but i do not wish to dwell on past mistakes and let it bog me down.. we've both agreed that moving along and taking the past hurdles and obstacles as lesson learnt is the best way forward.. i couldnt agree more..

here's to better days ahead~!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENG~!!

Pharkshop minus half a century

its fun aint it? turning 31 in a flash of the eye.. a lot has been happening in my life when i'm 30 and in a way.. i am glad that the bloody egg at the back of 3 had been broken and i'm moving on.. older and hopefully a little wiser for it.. i didnt exactly have the best of the bestest birthday celebration for it wasnt a celebration at all.. the partner and me fought for the entire evening.. on this day.. which can after all be construed as just another day.. no biggie..

no presents would be better than to have the love and respect from your partner.. tat i'm sure i'll have in the days to come.. i truly do hope for tat.. i just want a simple life.. peace.. quiet.. happiness.. not too much to ask for i guess.. but its funny how i am not able to have those things at a time when i tot its all forthcoming and overcoming me unconditionally.. maybe i tot wrong.. maybe its something wrong with me..

in any case.. moving along is important.. getting over the past misery is something i would really love to do right now... at the end of the day.. i'm just a simple man with a simple need and wish for a simple life.. nothing complicated.. nothing too outlandish..

hope i'm not asking for too much??!?

Aretha Franklin disapproves~!!

am i really that lowly that people around me cannot treat me with basic respect? i mean i can understand it if my parents were to nag a little and talk as if i am kid cos i AM a kid to them.. always has been... and will be.. tat is understandable cos they've seen my in my diapers.. take my first step.. utter my first words etc etc.. they've given me guidance and support throughout the years and to be honest.. i can say that its their god given right to sometimes still talk to me like a kid and dun really respect my point of view.. although i dun like it a single bit.. i can still accept it when circumstances like this come my way..

but to be shown an utter lack of respect from friends, colleagues.. tat is another story altogether.. its not a nice feeling.. tat i can tell you for sure.. why is it so hard for someone to let me finish whatever i want to say before he or she cuts me off? even my boss at work right now whose style i can barely agree with let me finish my piece before he comment.. although he will rubbish almost half of my ideas.. i appreciate the time and space that he actually gives me to throw up these ideas in the first place.. with frens.. i seldom have tat problem but i guess its becos we treat each other with respect.. view each other as equals and treasure each other's opinion and point of view.. we see each other as peers and equals and there's only one member of the clan that has problems playing by these rules and that fella has kinda disappeared from my radar.. albeit for a somehow unrelated event.. the basic thing is.. i do not agree with his style.. i take offence with his behaviour and i do not wish to be present when he throws his unwarranted weight and justifications around to bulldoze his way in a conversation.. at work.. this would be grossly unprofessional and working with such an arse would be a pain in the same area!!

been quite bothered by it all which is why i took some time off to read up on communication, conversation and listening skills on the net.. i do realise i am guilty of some of the negative behaviour pointed out by the various authors.. but with all due respect, and pls pardon the pun.. i think i do extend and portray a certain level of respect to pple whom i am sharing a conversation with.. ah.. i think i hit the nail on its head here.. SHARING a conversation.. its not a monologue at the end of the day eh? which brings to mind some rather serious questions.... so why oh why can't my partner understand this and let me have my say? does my opinion not matter at all? does she have a problem respecting me? if the answers are yes.. i think we have a serious fundamental problem here...