Time Alone

the time i have managed to set aside for myself these past 2 weeks had been most liberating.. i was able to plan a lot of work.. spend some time with my faithful canine companion.. have dinner with my family.. and do a lot more.. it has also made me realise tat time away from the partner has resulted in better quality time spent together when we actually do meet up.. having said that.. she has not been feeling on top of the world lately.. feelings of fatigue and weirdly placed headache had emerged.. the body might be reacting to being over worked somewhat and is finally giving the signal for the missus to take it easy and not push herself so hard..

me.. on the other hand.. i wish i had more to do after the 5 o clock hour in the office.. the cold calls have to cease for the day and there is not much to follow up in any case because the slow trickling of business volume has resulted in not much needing to be done as far as killing more trees are concerned.. chit chatting with co workers has also gone down the drain as more are being bogged down by the heavy weight of burden that press down so hard on us.. constantly.. it is with these pressures that we are made to try to achieve greater things in the office.. having said that.. some members are actually so bothered by it tat it becomes a negative incentive to work hard..

the fantastic 4 seem to have given way to slight politically charged moments of silence.. i guess thats the way this financial institution thrives.. working on the stress level of innocent everyday men like ourselves so that big talkers can stand on a pedestal and bull crap their way out of tricky situations.. amazing.. oh well.. as long as my bank account gets fattened obscenely every month.. i aint complaining..

i love my job actually~!! woo hoo~!!

Rough Week

Its been a rough week.. and in keeping with the spirit of the mentally taxing week at work.. my partner decided to gimme a hell lot of "respect and love" just to make sure things suck over the weekend as well.. suddenly its me being impossible and throwing tantrums.. i must always see things "from her point of view".. i must always "see where she is coming from"..

i can never be myself in this relationship perhaps? i need to be fashioned into someone tat has no mind of his own maybe? well.. i ain't gonna do tat.. this man here has too much self respect to be suckered into a situation as such.. i am NOT gonna take no shit from anybody anymore! i dun understand why things have suddenly changed the past 2-3 weeks or so.. she seemed to have a lot more reasons to nitpick on me.. taking all my sweet gestures and throwing them back at my face as trying to corner her into a position of submission.. wtf.. totally ridiculous and out of line.. not something from this world tat we are accustomed to.. perhaps in tat pharking stratosphere that she exists in.. pple would do so.. i aint gonna be a part of tat party manz.. no way!!

so here i am.. toasting my freedom... the liberation to do wat i can do.. wat i need to do.. and wat i should do.. if she's gonna get distracted from whatever she is distracted by.. fine by me.. dun suck me into this hole and try to make me feel miserabel from your uncertainty.. i am sick.. tired.. and totally void of emotions now.. i give up.. I QUIT!!

Giving Way

like a breath of fresh air.. the old shall make way for the new.. we shall all move on.. say "how u doin" to the next deal and learn how to cope with the disappointment that came your way due to a partner failing you.. lots of dirt have been dug up and presented on the table.. dirt tat do not exist at all.. since when is making sure your partner's needs are taken care of construed as being stifling and restrictive when the only pharking thing one did was to put some food on her plate? since when did the desire to meet up for lunch become a noose around the neck for the partner so much so that she felt obligated to reschedule her freaking busy life? when tat was not even anticipated at all! its supposed to be a sweet gesture but trust a female canine to turn it into a situation where a death warrant is signed for company during the bloody lunch hour..

excuses excuses.. all these red herrings are made to hide certain unexplained phenomena that is existing beyond the realisation of the royal reptile.. but he is wise enough to realise a lot more than the superficial skin deep representation of eternity.. all uttered to make one feel she belongs to a decent social order when she wanted nothing more than just to have a man slave to see to her every needs while giving nothing at all~!!

oh bugger off...

Brown Waste Financial Institute

so i'm finally in an orgnisation where i've always wanted to work since the day i left school.. i've always wondered how i would fare in such an organisation so its rather surprising to realise.. in spite of all the great service and support i received as a consumer.. that this financial institute where i draw my salary from currently is kinda messed up adminstratively.. there are a lot of processes tat are rather raw.. things dun get wound up sufficiently adminstratively for me to have the basic ease of mind of a proper work station and infrastructure.. having said that.. this is still a strangely rewarding place to work in.. and i ain't referring to the bank account tats being fattened with each fone call i make.. literally.. its the whole dynamics.. the pple here... the way money flows from pple to pple.. the hunger amidst the comfort zone.. not many might be able to understand tat but these are all presented in its understated grace for us all to appreciate

while being surrounded with beautiful pple.. i'm made more aware of the wonderful union that i find myself in.. i am driven more by my desire right now to make.. create.. and lay forth a beautiful life ahead for my princess whom i hold very dear to my heart.. in the face of all these settled state of being am i reminded time and time again i should break out of my old mould and let the heart do the talking.. while walking towards a settled state of equilibrium in both body and soul.. being mediocre no longer satisfy me.. here i am in this organisation that allows me to break out of the mould and i'm gonna try my darndest possible to be amongst those that will be counted when the dust settles..

just dun let me sink to the bottom of a bottle of moosehead or cobra.. let me keep my clear head and march along triumphantly into a wonderful future..