SeaShells

so the first roadshow is out of the way now... its been a mixed bag emotionally today.. things were looking good prior to the roadshow until i realised the entire senior management team at the company was out for engagements one way or another.. first blow.. and.. no more.. hahaha.. glad to note that this was the only blow of the day.. other than tat.. all's well thereafter.. although the results were not wat i expected.. but why the hell am i thinking about work at this juncture? i really need to unwind and relax for a bit after all that's been said and done...

watched a weirdly moving movie yesterday with the partner.. its a local movie and i went to the theatre expecting the usual hokkien spouting pseudo gangster heartlander tug at your strings kinda movie but was poignantly surprised by the strong message it sent out to me.. this plus something i experienced in a very emotional way at tanglin camp on sunday.. a piece about the different systems in existence within the society.. the regiment.. the corporate world.. and religion.. i realised to some extent how caught up i am right now in my work.. how consumed i am with achieving my targets that i have lost touch with certain human aspects of my existence.. heck.. when i picked up my guitar and strummed to her.. i realised how void of emotions i am towards my trusty instrument.. how totally blank my soul is right now.. so what if i am making lots of moola at the end of the day? i am compromising too much of myself to really tell myself i can be totally happy..

which is why it is damn confusing.. cos i love my job to the core.. the challenges are something that i truly relish and the friendly competition being waged on a daily basis drives me onto plains and dimensions i never knew existed.. i am excited.. i look forward to being in the office everyday.. i embrace all tat is coming my way work wise and yet i feel i am losing my soul bit by bit.. i dunno how to place a finger on all these.. perhaps being blessed with a state of not having to worry about my very existence allows me the space to question wat i hope to achieve with this existence.. i am thankful for the position i find myself in.. and yet remained unsettled emtionally and spiritually to truly define an equilibrium state of being..

after all that's been said and done.. i can't wait to step into the office tomolo morning.. the spring in my step.. the phone calls.. aiyaiyai.. i love this game..