Perfect Strangers

anyone remembers the tv series starring bronson pinchot as this weird greek fella? i cant even remember the name of the actor who played koosern larry... anyways.. not important though.. i had a lot of laughs with these sitcoms from the 80s and early 90s.. growing pains was my favourite.. and i did not realise it starred a young leonardo di carprio till i went to wikipedia to read more about the series.. who cares? dun like the fugly chap with the weird shaped head anyways..

growing up... i had loads of memories of my youth.. i honestly grew up fat and awkward and having a really low self esteem.. where i am today is the work of the men in green plus a steely resolve to keep myself in shape both mentally and physically.. however.. i remembered myself laughing a lot as a kid.. having loads of fun playing badminton with my cousin.. shooting a few hoops with the young guns.. riding them bicycle to the kopi tiam while skipping lessons at vjc.. those were awkward growing up years where female company is lacking and yet i found a lot of joy.. that was also the time i started picking up the six string fren and strummed away furiously while blasting the hi-fi with hard rocking sounds.. its ironic how when feline creatures are in the equation tats when a lot more uncertainties arise..

having said tat.. why am i complaining? i am having so much fun right now.. frens have rallied around me and laid forth lots of opportunities.. most surprisingly coming from totally new frens.. its times like these when u realise a sincere heart touches the most sincere pple.. who see certain values and kindness in you.. who believe in you enough to trust their circle of frens with you.. to these pple.. i have to say.. i would not let you down and i will prove worthy of your faith.. collectively.. individually or otherwise..

these frens won't get to read this though.. tis page is only for the privileged few..

Holy Male Society Add Oil~!!

has it only been 2 weeks..? seems like ages ago manz.. and things have been great.. the feeling is less about recovering from sorrow but from fatigue.. everything else being equal.. it has been liberating and i have had a lot more time for my own stuffs.. finally finished my grisham book tat has been lying on the table for weeks.. actually planned a trip into KL but found no kakis for the trip up and decided not to drive alone for 4 hours.. have to give it pass and mix it up with the shittybankers some other time then.. maybe i'm becoming shittybankers-adverse.. with the unwelcomed saturday night phone call from someone who obviously don't have much of a life but to gossip and spin tales.. and this is a dude who's been out of the organisation for more than half a year.. muahahahaha.. weirdz...

work has been trickling in at a constant pace.. i mean.. how fast can things go here..? hahaha.. but then again.. there have been 2 major cases this week which required immediate attention and which.. surprisingly.. DID receive immediate attention from the various departments.. am i impressed? not quite.. but at least i now know some work do get done around here.. oh well.. talking about work at 10pm at home is not something i want to do right now..

went to watch a basketball "c" division boys 3rd 4th placing match today.. it was between anglican high school and jurong secondary.. AHS lost by 8 points.. very disappointing match as the boys seem to play without much soul.. i heard they played their hearts out the day before in the well attended semi finals though.. must have been quite energy sapping as it was only 24 hours earlier.. the standard of play was very high.. the boys really ran up and down the court at such a high speed and exhibited wonderful technical abilities..

watching the match made me realise how freaking old i am.. imagine... when i was cheering on our AHS "c" division match while actually being of "c" division age... these kids werent even sperm yet... their parents might not even have met yet!! they were only conceived when i was bearing arms defending my country.. wow..

Non Flying Dutchman

"Oh here it comes again
That funny feeling again
Winding me up inside
Every time we touch

Hey I don't know
Just tell me where to begin
Cause I never ever
Felt so much

No I can't recall
Any love at all
Baby this blows em all away

It's got what it takes
So tell me why can't this be love
(You want it) Straight from the heart
Oh tell me why can't this be love

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in
And only time will tell
If we stand the test of time

All I know
You've got to run to win
And I'll be damned if I get hung up on the line

Tell me why can't this be love
Baby why can't this be love
Got to know why can't this be love
I wanna know why can't this be loooooove~!!"

- Van Halen, Why Can't This Be Love

GI Joe

while we're still mired in the subject of full circle... seems like not too long ago 2 friends gave me a birthday card dedicated to one who loves a popular breakfast item tat usually comes with maple syrup with a freaking unhealthy dallop of butter on it.. oooh.... which brings to mind my current situation really..

now i am staring at a supposed valley again and i realised it is not so.. cos there's no valley to be found on this plateau of pain.. valley seem to suggest a low point vis-a-vis some higher ground but i really dun see it as such.. its a consistently flat plain when you're on the up... only to tread wearily on a flat terrain in search of the next up.. its not as bleak as it sounds cos at least u aint working against gravity.. and you are not experiencing a situation where the light of day escapes you.. and you sure as hell am not tumbling downwards into the dark abyss of insanity..

bed of roses he wailed out high
bed of nails his body lie
proclaiming religious tri-partite
draw them near as his soul fight
tonight
i am merry amongst the plentitude
while maggots fiend remind me of solitude

Heavy Helium

"Hey, girl, stop what youre doin!
Hey, girl, youll drive me to ruin.
I dont know what it is that I like about you,
But I like it a lot.

Wont let me hold you,
Let me feel your lovin charms.

Communication breakdown,
Its always the same,
Im having a nervous breakdown,
Drive me insane!

Hey, girl, I got something I think you ought to know.
Hey, babe, I wanna tell you that I love you so.
I wanna hold you in my arms, yeah!
Im never gonna let you go,cause I like your charms.

I want you to love me all night...

I want you to love me all night
I want you to love me
I want you to love...yeah!
I want you to love!"

Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin

Jumping Frogs

you know they made one sequel too many when an hour into the movie.. u kept wondering to urself wat the hell the leads got themselves into signing up for this.. its the money tat pays the bill probably but does someone with serious superstar clout need to resort to this? fyi.. this chap has enough weight behind his name to command his talentless fugly kid to star in some high profile HK action movie currently in cinemas.. but then again.. its the freaking hongkees.. who cares? they can implode for all i care..

perhaps this is a parallel to the fact tat pple should really know when to stop.. when to call it quits.. when to step away from the limelight.. cantona will always be a freaking legend on the field.. cos he stopped trying to impress once he's attained a certain level of success.. its not like the original none cheapbuy 23.. retiring and trying out at first baseball.. and then golf.. failing miserably on both counts only to step into the old ring again and falling spectacularly with those whose names are ironically called the wizards..

calling it quits when you're on top of the game.. first.. you HAVE to be on top of the game..

Von Trapp Bed Time Tune

wasnt that long ago that i thought i didnt have to say this to anybody anymore
and now here i am
listening to myself speak the very words
its senseless.. i dun understand.. and dun even want to try to start to understand it

so long.. farewell..

Lion King

its just weird how everything comes full circle.. u did it when u were 23.. now u're 32.. and its all happening again.. u fall in love.. get to know a person.. got together.. got along for a while.. familiarity breeds contempt.. u get angry.. u forgive.. u kiss and make up.. u drive each other nuts again.. u make up.. the circle goes on.. the proximity suffers as a result.. u talk but dun speak.. u meet but dun see each other.. u hug but dun touch.. u hold hands while being disjointed.. then u guys spar verbally and over the smallest issue.. decree that its important enough to forge a permanent wall..

tats the grand scheme of life in many dimensions and directions.. for pple like ourselves who are emotionally challenged.. there are those who treasure their personal freedom and yet is so miserable being alone.. there are those who love a union but loathes the handcuffs tat accompany a properly instituted state of being.. there are those who go crazy after 10 mins being alone and just jump the gun at the next thing tat comes along.. good bad or otherwise..

having wasted so much time for the past 19 months.. i really think i should be alone for the meantime.. take some time off.. do the things i really wanna do when i'm alone.. read a book.. continue to write my songs... put a band together.. improve on my soccer game.. which i hope will be in order considering i'm kicking balls around with really skilful individuals.. get really fit and make a difference in my own personal life..

moving on is always tough but i am inclined to think tat i've always been able to do it a lot better with less emotional baggage than a lot of my peers.. not tat i am putting myself on a pedestal and declaring myself being holier than thou.. far from it.. its just tat i am glad my mental resolve and capabilities tell me a lot more than just to be mired in emotionally irrational thoughts..

having said tat.. boy i am only human.. woo hoo hoo hoo...

in the jungle the mighty jungle the *sic* (lizard king) sleeps tonight

Simply Slow Commanderie

wow.. snail's pace best describe how things are done here at my new organisation.. its a refreshing change from the brown waste financial institution.. yeah and the folks here sweat it out almost every day over the energy topping hour.. by kicking a ball around.. or throwing another in a hoop.. or just slipping on those track shoes and running away.. its not the organisation tat promotes a sporting lifestyle for nothing you know.. which begs the question.. dun this pple eat? yeah they sure.. though not at the official lunch hour.. its literally on the eleventh hour.. followed by 2 hours of rest before kicking the inflated cow's hide around.. do pple actually get any work done around here.. i should think so.. but then again.. where in hell is the darn time capsule~!!?!

first day here.. went in on the dot.. waited 45 mins for HR to attend to me.. oops.. i mean HC.. human capital management apparently.. and here i was hopeful the perks from this job was free spa treatment on my first day here.. since sports DOES promote a healthy lifestyle.. the briefing was hurried thru in about 1 sec.. ok.. i am being bitchy here.. it lasted a whopping 5 minutes.. great effort from the members of the health centre team.. thereafter.. further logisitical arrangements were made for security access and card printing.. and off i was shipped to my office.. away from the staircase tat is the stadium.. so sad that they're gonna tear this great old dame down.. i would relish the opportunity to work from within her grand belly overlooking the manificent stadium.. i digress now.. apologies

talking about the 2 ends of matt trakker's mask.. here it is presenting itself to me.. shittybang vs assasssee.. 2 organisations with completely differnet dynamics which offered me a glimpse into the human psyche.. the good and evil tat exists in both states.. it takes all kinds to make up this world perhaps.. but this is where i find pple who are down to earth.. heartland.. non pretentious.. but the lack of ambition does stick out like a sore thumb.. gimme this situation anytime baybee.. i'm enjoying it now.. stay tuned.. shall stick around for a while.. no truman show dimensioned entertainment though..