Nightmare on Fidelio Street

this is horrible..

the last thing that I wanted was for my parents to be disturbed.. and people who knows this exploited it.. she tried to pull my family down in her misery.. this is horrendous!

I really need to take stock of what is going on here.. I have invited this trouble upon myself.. wherever I am and whatever I am going through is a result of my own doing.. I brought this upon myself and while it is ok for me to suffer.. I do not wish to see my parents being dragged through the mud as well..

I need to go away for a while.. escape.. hide.. do whatever it takes in order for no harm to come to my family..

time to correct the wrong..

Music Filled Weekend

this weekend was really filled with music..

anybody who knows me well knows that music is the backbone of my existence.. I love music and I love making music.. albeit with my limited talent.. I may struggle to translate this passion into tangible or audible output..

having said that.. I watched 2 shows in one day.. a movie and a stage musical..

strangely.. both featured songs from singers that while I do know their song.. wasn't particularly a big fan of..

one is an American singer who sang the theme song to one of my all time favourite movies.. one who sang a song that was mashed with U2's rooftop escapades.. one who claimed big girls don't cry and reminded me to walk like a man.. while I do appreciate these songs.. they were never really a mainstay of my playlists or inspired me big time..

another featured the songs of a short arse from up north who always proclaimed Singapore to be his home.. he is arrogant.. attention seeking and honestly ugly as hell.. but some of his songs accompanied me in my growing up years.. so its probably a case of the songs meaning something but I still freaking hate the singer/songwriter..

so I was adequately inspired in the theatre.. some of the girls were really cute as well.. maybe tats why I always love music...

musicians are supposed to promiscuous..!! I love that saying!! Amen~!!

 

All I Wanna Do

I dunno what the hell am I getting myself into..

I probably shouldn't be doing this on so many different levels for so many different reasons..

she is way too inexperienced.. young and sheltered to be subjected to harmful elements like me..

I have someone at home who is very dedicated to me albeit being a bit off tangent and controls me too much.. I feel like I am in a prison yet it is unfair to blame my captor for I have voluntarily subjected myself to be imprisoned..

We work together so it might be wrong to be involved..

I am not exactly a free agent according to the rules of engagement..

yet.. I cannot pry myself away from this.. I dunno what the hell I am doing..

why oh why.. does this happen over and over again...

Strong Enough

i am falling again.. I cannot believe it..

why do I always find myself in the same situation.. being in a state of peace.. stability.. and then trying my utmost to undo the status quo by being a holy fool all over again..

yet my heart cannot help feeling a certain way.. the way it beats faster and slower at the same time.. the way the whole room just seems to light up the minute someone so small walks in.. illuminating its entirety..

the shared meals and quick chats.. online.. virtual.. mobile or in person..

the isolation that draws me nearer.. the distant that makes me feel closer.. the coldness that warms me.. there's something about the impasse that is annoyingly attractive and frustratingly alluring..

my heart is captured again.. my mind is imprisoned.. I cannot stop thinking of one so minute.. yet is a giant in my being..

damn Yankees say it best.. can you take me high enough!