Misty

A long time ago.. I ended a wonderful union which still leaves me with regrets up till today.. I have always complained about how young my partner then was and how her immature attitudes really tick me off at times.. I was constantly bitching about how great it would be to be with someone matured.. someone who can understand the more important things in life rather than the romanticized notion of being emotional and sentimental with a partner.. and yet.. at hindsight.. I would have to seriously say tat she had been someone who was like tat and I was the unsettled one.. the immature one who wasn’t ready to settle down and still want to roam around… sometimes it really does take a hard knock to make one realize wat is good for oneself.. but then.. its good that i've been thru this episode.. packed up the emotional baggage and moved on to become a better person from the experience..

Which is why it’s a good thing tat we’ve all moved on and grew stronger from all these.. the last relationship was a real nightmare and I wouldn’t be missing tat anytime soon.. its really a matter of so long farewell.. bye bye.. let our paths never cross again in this life… dun really wish to talk about it here.. its stupid and unnecessarily disturbing cos my parents were involved in this.. who would think tat at 30.. these are the things tat still kept my parents up at night.. my goodness.. how totally not in congruence with the person tat I wanna be..

Which is why I am happy with my life now.. being at peace with myself is a state of mind I had not been able to be in for the past 2-3 years of my life.. there was always a conflict within myself for reasons which I cannot truly fathom.. I had been trying to be someone I was not and perhaps tat was wat contributed to this battle tat I fought with myself.. looking back.. these are really struggles tat are stupid and childish.. the need to prove myself in light of wat the previous generation have achieved is something tat is weighing me down constantly.. oh how I would love to just be myself.. which I am now.. in a way.. totally free of worries and is 100% willing to let go of the things I have lost.. moving on is the best way to deal with these.. being mired in the past would only translate to a present state of unstable mental welfare which would lead to a future of the same turmoil.. so snapping out of it now is a beautiful sensation and I am most glad I have someone who is totally wonderful and understanding sharing this moment with me.. walking with me.. not judging me.. holding my hands.. reassuring me tat all is fine.. being silly with me when I need to let go and lending me a listening ear when I need to just talk and talk and talk..